Star Wars episode 1 a rant
So today I got the opportunity to see Star wars episode 1 in 3D. I truly love the Star Wars saga. I
watched and kept wishing for the death of Jar Jar. I cannot fully explain how much I detest everything about the Jar Jar character.
Jar Jar is the Hitler of my Star Wars universe. Hitler survived several assassination attempts by pure dumb luck and circumstance and all through episode 1 Jar Jar avoids death and dismemberment through out with the same dumb luck...damn you fate for keeping these beings alive to fowl up any universe artificial or real.
A couple of issues I have always had with the first episode...
Jar Jar...do I really need to explain my dislike any further.
How does a child get elected to rule a planet? What was wrong with letting a planet have a Sovereign, I
could believe that much more than i could ever swallow an elected official with a title of Queen that is only a teenager. Amidala was 14, could you rule at that age?
The immaculate conception...c
ome the fuck on.
The whole midichlorian count thing...why on earth did you ever have to take away from the magic of the force. This concept was borrowed or outright stolen from Jack L. Chalker series: The four lords of the diamond, synapse
, the ward diamond is four prison planets where once you land your body is invaded by a microscopic organism that
resides in each one of your cells..and the cells of every living thing on the planet...your willpower can control these symbiont organisms and control your environment...
much like it was explained later to a young Skywalker. An excellent read if you get the opportunity.
Why are the Jedi not present in the senate during Naboos plea for assistance? Did not the chancellor request them to investigate the matter? This could have derailed the trade federations plea for a committee idea and swayed the rest of the senate to act. ( I will admit that I can also see many reasons that this could be argued over)
The jedi council can see the potential within Skywalker and realize that his fear is that of losing his mother... Are the Jedi so broke they can not figure out how to get his mother out of this situation and cultivate this young man. It would have been better to have her die in some tragic event that left the Jedi in some sort of gray area as to whether or not they had some fault in her demise. (Come on, you have intergalactic communications she couldn't get a message to the Jedi council that she was free and getting married? What mother wouldn't try to contact her son with such news? And how does a moisture farmer afford to buy her but the Jedi council can not. But that is a gripe of episode 2)
Obi Wan Kenobi the slow ass...earlier he is able to sprint like a mother fucker down a hallway to escape from some robots, (which apparently the
force can't work with a shield in the way. Cough
...Bull shit... cough) but with his mentor locked in a death duel with a Sith you can't cover that short distance before the shield closes... How hard did you really try to save him Obi?
Darth Maul... Potential was there to make him a great villain not just a footnote. I can see it both ways.
Those are just a couple of things that were on my mind...let's be honest if they can restart the Spiderman series and the Batman series, why can we not get a rewrite on the first 3 episodes of Star Wars, let
Young Skywalker have a darker past that leads us to the Vader that was feared by the galaxy. Not the manipulated lovesick crybaby, Hell Harry Potter started out as a children's book and they got darker as the series progressed. I want a real prequel to the Star Wars saga...I want a real reason for A New Hope.