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Corrupt-A-Wish Foundation [ 1 ] [ 2 ] ... [ 235 ] [ 236 ] [ 237 ] ... [ 280 ] [ 281 ]
Radius55
SITE ADMIN
#7051   Posted 1 year ago
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Granted. A pony had been brought into existence somewhere in the universe.

I wish it hadn't taken so long to write this program.
StrangerCoug
FindKnDawson
#7052   Posted 1 year ago
    [ Reply ]   [ Quote ]
Granted. It had taken so long to get a working computer in the first place.

I wish I weren't tired.
Wolfdwarf
#7053   Posted 1 year ago
    [ Reply ]   [ Quote ]
Wish granted. You are so energetic, you are become a God. However, no one believes in you. So you disappear (poof).

I wish I had a cool shirt.
Tgjanlee
Valeyard
#7054   Posted 1 year ago
    [ Reply ]   [ Quote ]
Granted. It freezes to your skin.

And someone throws a boulder at you.

I wish we were all winners.
Phyonix
#7055   Posted 1 year ago
    [ Reply ]   [ Quote ]
Granted, winning loses its appeal, and a paradox forms

I wish for pizza
Tgjanlee
Valeyard
#7056   Posted 1 year ago
+ 1 Funny     [ Reply ]   [ Quote ]
Granted. Pizza also loses its appeal. A paradox forms that cancels out the paradox.

However people are pizza now.

I wish that wish took a different turn.
Wolfdwarf
#7057   Posted 1 year ago
    [ Reply ]   [ Quote ]
Wish granted, we turned into a wall. A wall which houses a huge bomb. It explodes. The world explodes. Thanks a lot.

I wish I could teleport.
Radius55
SITE ADMIN
#7058   Posted 1 year ago
    [ Reply ]   [ Quote ]
Granted. You jump from your home to another latitude, and the difference in relative velocities slams you through a wall.

I wish more people understood basic physics.
Hoorah
Davesexual
#7059   Posted 1 year ago
    [ Reply ]   [ Quote ]
Granted, you teleport 6inches to the right.


I wish I could travel through time at my will.
Tgjanlee
Valeyard
#7060   Posted 1 year ago
    [ Reply ]   [ Quote ]
Granted, but the Daleks hunt you down and murder you.

I wish for more wishes.
Lo_Battery
#7061   Posted 1 year ago
    [ Reply ]   [ Quote ]
Granted. More humiliation and death for you.

I wish my nose wasn't so stuffed up right now.
Hoorah
Davesexual
#7062   Posted 1 year ago
    [ Reply ]   [ Quote ]
Granted, now you have a sore throat.


I also wish that my nose wasn't so stuffed up right now, but with a different result than Lo_Battey's wish.
Phyonix
#7063   Posted 1 year ago
    [ Reply ]   [ Quote ]
Granted, no nose

I wish for elephants
Tgjanlee
Valeyard
#7064   Posted 1 year ago
    [ Reply ]   [ Quote ]
Granted.

The elephants however are not elephants. They are lions.

They murder you.

I wished for a wish back then that hadn't come true. Make it happen. I wish it to happen.
Wolfdwarf
#7065   Posted 1 year ago
    [ Reply ]   [ Quote ]
Wish granted. It happens. Then someone went back in time and made it so it didn't happen.

I wish my computer had an Internet connection.
StrangerCoug
FindKnDawson
#7066   Posted 1 year ago
    [ Reply ]   [ Quote ]
Granted. It has no input devices.

I wish the Adobe Photoshop software that came with my tablet downloaded correctly.
emPtysp4ce
#7067   Posted 1 year ago
    [ Reply ]   [ Quote ]
Wish granted. But once it's on, it kills your whole tablet. Makes it melt.

I wish I didn't suck at math.
StrangerCoug
FindKnDawson
#7068   Posted 1 year ago
    [ Reply ]   [ Quote ]
Granted. You suck at language arts.

I wish I had a steadier hand.
emPtysp4ce
#7069   Posted 1 year ago
    [ Reply ]   [ Quote ]
Granted. You can't walk straight for your life.

I wish I was President.
StrangerCoug
FindKnDawson
#7070   Posted 1 year ago
    [ Reply ]   [ Quote ]
Granted. You alienate your political party and lose the next presidential race almost immediately.

I wish to gamble as much as I want with no ill effects.
emPtysp4ce
#7071   Posted 1 year ago
    [ Reply ]   [ Quote ]
Granted. A prostitute you picked up there gave you an STD.

I wish I had more good music.
StrangerCoug
FindKnDawson
#7072   Posted 1 year ago
    [ Reply ]   [ Quote ]
Granted. You are arrested for pirating it.

I wish I had an idea of what to draw.
Bobomcgraw
Bah Humbug
#7073   Posted 1 year ago
    [ Reply ]   [ Quote ]
Granted, your arms fall off.

I wish I had better reflexes.
Hoorah
Davesexual
#7074   Posted 1 year ago
    [ Reply ]   [ Quote ]
Granted, your reflexes improve from those of a dead turtle to the reflexes of a live turtle.


I wish for next September to be awesome for me.
emPtysp4ce
#7075   Posted 1 year ago
    [ Reply ]   [ Quote ]
In reply to HOORAH93, #7074:

Granted. But October sucked ass.

I wish I was President.
Radius55
SITE ADMIN
#7076   Posted 1 year ago
    [ Reply ]   [ Quote ]
Granted. It is, and always will be one of the worst jobs in the world.

I wish for a soda that tastes exactly like the real thing, but has no calories. And doesn't have anything in it that will hurt me.
emPtysp4ce
#7077   Posted 1 year ago
    [ Reply ]   [ Quote ]
In reply to Radius55, #7076:

Granted. All you'll be able to eat for the next three years is McDonalds.

I wish for NyQuill.
Radius55
SITE ADMIN
#7078   Posted 1 year ago
    [ Reply ]   [ Quote ]
Granted. It's the special homeopathic blend that doesn't actually help with symptoms or get you to sleep.

I wish this Fall's video game and book releases would come out already.
StrangerCoug
FindKnDawson
#7079   Posted 1 year ago
    [ Reply ]   [ Quote ]
Granted. You're dead by that time.

I wish to go to psychological counseling.
Hoorah
Davesexual
#7080   Posted 1 year ago
    [ Reply ]   [ Quote ]
Granted, I'm your psychologist, and I'm only an amateur.

I wish Coug could see the butterfly in the inkblot.
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