My welding instructor's "assistant" when I showed him some plate I'd welded:
Me: Here you go Hill Hill: This isn't right. Me: What's wrong with it? Hill: It isn't done right. Me: How? What'd I do wrong? Hill: It isn't right, that's what's wrong. Me: No shit! But what in particular makes it wrong? Hill: You have a low spot. Me: You couldn't have just said that to begin with? Hill: No...
I took my friend to see 4th of July fireworks and as we wait on the beach for the show to start, she looks at me in all seriousness and asks, "Are the fireworks going to be in the sky?"
Last year when the snow was really bad several services in the city ground to a halt. We were talking about it and I said, something along the lines of, "Yeah, the snow's too deep outside, I don't think any mail is being delivered because it's too dangerous out." And a woman I work with immediately turned, with a shocked look, and asked, "Not even e-mail?!" It took a few seconds for me to realize that she was being serious.
Friend: Where did Ashlee go over break? Me: Kentucky. Friend: Where's Kentucky. Me: Ok stop playing dumb. Friend: no really! Me: I'm leaving. ( She texts me later) I'm looking at a map right now. Me: Ok... Friend: I couldn't find it... Me: It's a fucking state! Friend: Kentuckys a state?
Theres an ad for an isulation for house that has penguins on it (why do penguins have to keep warm?) and my sister asked me "Do penguins live under houses?"
I had a similar situation when i tried to explain to a friend about why the clouds over head were tinged pink (the sun was setting) only for her to exclaim "But the suns not pink!"
this same friend also asked whether a lake we were walking past while climbing up Mt. Snowdon (in Wales) was where the loch ness monster was supposed to be.
Finally she capped it all by interrupting some of my other friends conversations about philosophy by shouting about how philosophy was the study of rocks and causing us all to stare at her in disbelief and not speak to her again for a couple of hours.
There's a girl in my science class that is literally, the most stupid bitch ever.
She'll ask questions like, "do People need hearts to live?" "Is the sky blue because the sun is yellow?" "Why is it called a lungs if you only have one?" in getting a reply to this she asks "So how many lungs do I have"
The best was probably, "Do I need a brain to live" apparently not...
This kid I used to work with got a brand new bike to take back and forth to work. He took it in the same day to get a tune up, then "I want to get the air replaced in the tires, there is winter air in it but I want summer air in it." he asked the person at the Sporting Goods store.
Like a week ago on a cloudy day I was walking with my friends down the street and a little hole in the clouds where the sun was shone right in front of us and my friends like "Oh my god it's Jesus!!!"
I saw two old women in a Big Lots get into a huge argument once about how one of them had fucked the other one's boyfriend the night he got back from WWII. That was absolutely idiotic and hysterical.
Did you giver her a name with a nice story concerning the news coverage and the continual uprising on the newly established colony about free oxygen for all citizens?
