ring ring me: hello sox: oh god there are a lot of people, ill call you back me: ok ---------- ring ring me: hello sox: so ricky martin walked out of a building in front of me and like 3000 girls were there screaming and taking pictures...i didn't know what was happening me: ricky martin is still relevant?
My one great hope in all this is that they'll make the mistake of bringing up my frequent trips to the bathroom as part of the reason they turfed me. IBS ain't no joke, and firing someone because of it is illegal, so wrongful termination suit, daddy needs a new pair of shoes!
Well, that and my lottery tickets. I think $37 million could make me feel ok about the whole thing too.
So... Jackie asks me to cut up this watermelon. I go to cut up the watermelon. Jackie appears and gets ready to start cutting it. She likes serrated knives, so I hand her the bread knife. It's not really working for her. As she gets through the first cut, the top clambers to the floor and she waves the knife around in desperation yelling "why didn't you get the top?!" I point out that she's waving a knife around, but she is unphased.
"Get me a better knife!" I grab the knife she should use, a long, sharp, straight blade. "NO! THE ONE YOU USE TO CUT VEGETABLES!" So I wash and hand her the vegetable knife, knowing this won't end well. She attempts to cut into the watermelon and tries to create a shark. The vegetable knife doesn't even cut through the hull. She gives up in frustration and heads back to the internets. I then use the proper knife to easily cut the watermelon and bring her slices.
Also, as I was typing this, she proclaimed, "I am highly annoyed that this watermelon has seeds in it. This is 2012. Watermelons don't need seeds.