I came home from class one day and saw my roommate sitting outside with wet hair. I was confused because I remembered hearing him take a shower in the morning. I asked him why he showered again, and he couldn't come up with an excuse in time so he just told me the truth. He was relaxing in his recliner and he went to fart. Well he ended up shitting himself instead and had to crab walk to his bathroom and wash the shame and filth off of himself. He jokes about it now, but at the time it was total hush hush.
Once at my grandma's house for Christmas, i was taking a present to my grandpa, and my mom had written "Dad" on it, and one of my uncles said "Oh i didn't know you were a dad" and without missing a beat i said "Well if I am, I don't know about it." and I didn't even realize i had said something weird until I had sat back down and everyone was laughing. Even then, it still took me a bit to put 2 and 2 together.
