How my penis broke.
This is a story about how i broke my penis for about 5 minutes.

When I was young, about 8-10, I discovered naked women on TV. Boobs, vagina, lots of things I'd never seen before. Being young, male, and a pervert, only two things i grew out of being mind you, these things excited me. I however, wasn't the type to have lone time on the computer.... or well.. the knowledge to know what the shit fuck masturbation was, or how it was done.

So for the longest time there iId just squeeze it. I'd use like.... Elastic bands, hair buckles, ect. But that shit didn't do anything. But god damn it I was trying!

So, eventually, i came across those late night Showcase shows. Like.. i dunno. ...

How my penis broke.
This is a story about how i broke my penis for about 5 minutes.

When I was young, about 8-10, I discovered naked women on TV. Boobs, vagina, lots of things I'd never seen before. Being young, male, and a pervert, only two things i grew out of being mind you, these things excited me. I however, wasn't the type to have lone time on the computer.... or well.. the knowledge to know what the shit fuck masturbation was, or how it was done.

So for the longest time there iId just squeeze it. I'd use like.... Elastic bands, hair buckles, ect. But that shit didn't do anything. But god damn it I was trying!

So, eventually, i came across those late night Showcase shows. Like.. i dunno. bliss, kink, something about lady in red shoes. Your basic soft-core porn. I also remember watching E! on. Sometimes people would get topless. That was a blast. But i digress. I was watching showcase, and it eventually hit me.

Why don't I try pretending like I'm having sex to.. but with my hand.

I was a fucking genius.

So like, i try it. I don't remember how it felt, just remember breaking it.

See, as you all know, after a certain point in time, after climax, you get super, super, sensitive. It's just a thing that happens. I however, wasn't aware of that. At all. Bliss never told me this. Nor did E! Those uninformative bastards. Best fingering technique? Sure whatever. Best postiton to hit the G spot? I don't even know what that is but they are showing me the inside of a vagina so that's cool. The fact you're penis gets judge mental and doesn't want anyone around? Nope. So obviously, I panicked.

I broke it.

So for a while there I was fighting off tears because I knew I'd have to tell mom and dad I broke my penis watching dirty things on TV that I shouldn't be watching. Which is traumatizing. But then it got better. and was I and it were A okay again.

My penis totally trolled me.