Time and PerspectiveI have not been that active on this site for a long time. I only comment when I'm REALLY affected by something. Years go by in between journals. And I haven't talked to anyone here in a long time. But I AM constantly online, watching almost every video posted here. I signed up on this site over 7 years ago. On 10/23/05. (My mom's birthday, strangely enough.) I was 14 then, and I'm 21 now. Rooster Teeth has been a big part of my life for a third of it.

I just went back and looked through all of my old journals. That was a bizarre experience. I was one of those irritating internet kids who make me angry now. I was constantly trying to gain notoriety and originate things, despi...

Time and PerspectiveI have not been that active on this site for a long time. I only comment when I'm REALLY affected by something. Years go by in between journals. And I haven't talked to anyone here in a long time. But I AM constantly online, watching almost every video posted here. I signed up on this site over 7 years ago. On 10/23/05. (My mom's birthday, strangely enough.) I was 14 then, and I'm 21 now. Rooster Teeth has been a big part of my life for a third of it.

I just went back and looked through all of my old journals. That was a bizarre experience. I was one of those irritating internet kids who make me angry now. I was constantly trying to gain notoriety and originate things, despite not having any real skills. It was funny to see a couple of journals and remember that I was a "commander" of one of those ridiculous "mod armies" from back when the old mod system was still in place. I forgot that myself and the rest of my 14-year-old friends were trying to do a Halo machinima series about some soldiers in a canyon. (We actually did end up doing some filming, but 14-year-olds can't work together for long without falling into arguments in high-pitched, cracking voices.) Whenever I think about my younger self, I picture myself as I am now, only smaller. (Actually, I was pretty much the same size. Just less hairy. My band director made that joke to me.) But I was a very different person. I was a normal (yet, nerdy) 14-year-old who acted like a normal 14-year-old. This is the first community site that I was ever a part of, so I'm glad that these relics of a long-lost past still exist for me to see.

My life is completely different from back then too. I was a freshman in high school when I first logged on to "redvsblue.com." I was living with my single mother in a duplex, and I went to my single father's house on Wednesdays and every other weekend. I still live with my mom, but now she's remarried, living in a bigger house, and I have an awesome little step-sister. I still go stay with my dad for a few days whenever I want to see him, and that place has changed too. He's also remarried with a bigger house, and I have a step-sister (one year younger and in college) and a step-brother who is still in high school and lives there. Joining this site is what really sucked me up into the gaming "lifestyle." Because of RT, I decided I wanted to become a game designer. After graduating high school, I went to UNT in Denton to try and get a degree in computer science, but I failed out. I went to TCC (a community college) for the next two years, and barely scraped by. But it was there that I decided to focus on art instead of programming, so that I could work on the "design" side of game design. I went back to UNT for a semester (thinking I was ready to succeed), and miserably failed again. I decided that school was not what I was meant to do (I didn't even do too well in high school), and I was going to just get a job and work on my design stuff in my spare time. Hopefully, once I was good enough, I could start applying to game companies and they would want me. But I had trouble even finding a job, and I was pretty close to just giving up on my dream of making games. But I had a glimmer of hope when my best friend told me that there was a playtester position open at Gearbox. Surprising enough to me, I was hired for a two-week internship to test games there. And it was the greatest experience of my life. I was completely revitalized, and once-again ready to pursue my dream. I had a chance to talk with Paul Hellquist (creative director at Gearbox, lead designer on Borderlands 2 and Bioshock). He gave some great advice on becoming a game designer. And I'm already following that advice and it seems like my goals are now possible. In this way, I actually feel like my 14-year-old self again. And I managed to find a full-time job as a barista so I can work for some money and do game design stuff in my free time. For the first time since I graduated, I feel like my life is headed in a good direction. It's insane to think back and see how much my life has changed in seven years and think about all I've been through.

There's one thing that's definitely remained constant though. Rooster Teeth has ALWAYS been there for me, whether they know it or not. Whenever I felt down, I could always pop in an RvB dvd to cheer myself up. During my recent rough patch, I watched a lot of Let's Plays so I could laugh at something. Back in 2010, I went with my best bud to the Alamo Drafthouse event where they premiered Season 8. I saw the guys in person for the first time. THAT was a strange experience. I never thought I would actually see them. After the premier, we had a chance to go talk to the guys. I was so unbelievably nervous. But thanks to my friend, I was able to have the courage to talk to Joel. The fact that he was so friendly made me feel so much better. (Not that I didn't expect him to be friendly.) I didn't have something for him to sign, so I grabbed a piece of paper and got his signature on that. Unfortunately, we were unable to meet anyone else. They all went over to a bar, and we were still underage. But a year later, we were able to go RTX and meet damn near every RT person. I wasn't nervous this time. And they all turned out to be awesome people. We talked to Matt for what felt like 20 minutes. We told Burnie that our names were Cole and Reese. He said we sounded like a badass detective duo. RTX 2012 was awesome too. It was much more conventiony. And I'm super excited for RTX 2013. Hopefully, I'll be able to talk to at least one RT person. Just like I have, RT has changed so much too. The first video I saw of theirs was RvB Season 4 Episode 1. (And I actually had to download it. No embedding back then.) They've come so far since then. It's been an incredible thing to be a (very small) part of.

I just wanted to get this stuff out of my head. I can't wait to see where RT and myself go in 7 more years.