ShOeLaCe_E

Christmas EveOkay, last journal was my excuse to vent.
Everything is honestly going good for me every since. :)

Well, I wish everyone Happy Christmas and a Merry New Year.
I'm getting ticket to see Scary Kids Scaring Kids Farwell Tour -- so sad they're seperating AND tickets to see The Used with Sydney and Tina. <3
Can't wait, they're my favorite band EVER.
Next to the old Chiodos with Craig Owens.

Ahhh.
Anyways, just finshed wrapping what seemed to be a million presents.
Peace people

3 years ago | Comments (0) | + 1 Cool

ShOeLaCe_E

13461.) 13461.) I'll never forgive myself for making you see the dark before you ever got to see the light. <\3

(via Blogsecret)

So I'm pretty sure everything is becoming so much more clear for me, these past couple of days.
I'm positive the hardest thing for me is loss. -- I'm afraid to lose. (not exactly literally, mostly emotionally)

I'm addicted to music. (Well duh, who isn't) but in ways that it's the only reason I wanna wake up in the mornings. The inspiration these amazing people put into words is unreal.

School-wise. I'm going to a crappy college for two years and waiting for my best friend. Whether it's a good choice or not, it's the one I feel is right for me. I've lost too many people and for some reason, losing her would kill me. She understands me more than anyone else though there's stil stuff we both (more me) need to come clean with. Tina your amazinggg. Thanks for always being there when I need you. (:

So...yeah I have an issue with holding back my emotions. Oh well..
I've opened up to all the wrong people and it's came back to do absolutely nothing for me. And now I struggle everyday to open up to someone who means the world to me.

13213.) I find myself constantly holding back, not saying what first comes to mind which, if you know me at all, is difficult for me. It simply will do no one a bit of good to confess, at this point, that I had already begun falling in love with you. Silence is Golden.

As for that person, I just need you to be there for me. Always. And lately you've been going through tough times, I understand, but that doesn't mean leave me in the dark about everything. I'm tired of sitting here, not knowing what's going on when you expect to know every aspect of what i'm going through or how I feel. There's a lot more, I just don't know how to say it.

Mom, I know you can't read this but I truely am tired of you. I love you, I always will. But I'm tired of not being good enough. I'm tired of you blaming your pill addiction on some diseases you THINK you have. Tylenol doesn"t cure crap. Your constant doctors visits are BS. You reently blamed me for everything that happened the ther weekend. I guess it's my fault that you took all those hardcore painkillers and i CHOSE not to drive home with you. I didn't want to chance my life for your stupidity. Then you go to Dad, there's something wrong with me? Maybe there is. But you won't even see it. Your never there to see it. And...you'll never understand my decisions because we are so diffrent and honestly I'm glad I don't go by your morals. I'm not and never will be materialistic. I can and will support myself. And when and if I do get married, I won't ever do what you do. Also, I won't play with religion. I won't use it to save myself. I am what I am. I follow what i do. At least I can own up to what I believe. I have nothing more to prove to you.

Honestly, I have nothing more to prove to anyone.
I am who I am, and quite frankly, I'm not chnaging anytime soon.
I deal with things the way I deal with them, I make my decisions, and I'll live the way I want to live. f my world crashes and burns around me, then that's my fault and I can't blame anyone but myself for that.

I'm tired of venting.
I hate this Christmas, it sucks.
We have 23 inches of snow, which is a plus.

I just want to hear from you. Even if you are done with me.

Closure.

3 years ago | Comments (5)

ShOeLaCe_E

Christmas."30 days till christmas and all I know is I'm not quite ready to let go of this past year; I have so much to show. One more month and all I need is a sign from you that you think of me. If you don't, then please just say so, cause all I do, is think of you."

So I saw this on facebook from a friend, and I realized. I really am not ready to let this year go. I mean sure, it has sucked but still...so much good stuff has happened.

Oh well.
I just want it to be December already. (:

3 years ago | Comments (1) | + 1 Ditto

ShOeLaCe_E

Homecoming.Homecoming was absolutely amazing.
Danced...a lot.

So i've made a few mistakes xD
Won't talk about most of them...but the funniest one I blame Tina completely.
So there is this kid on the football team...Max something or other.
He is supposedly really sweet, Tina and Tabby said he was hot, i don't remember...but yeah.

A DANCE MEANS NOTHING TO ME, sorry.
He is a creeper.
And i danced with him.
Kinda sad.

Anyways.
A few changes.

I've decided that:
God has a set plan for everybody. You just weren't supposed to be in mine. Oh well. It happens. I'll learn, live, and move on to bigger and better things. (:

I'm pretty sure I'm getting my priorities straight.
Now.

Oh. Sorry AP Literature teacher BUT i'm not ready 24 chapters in one day because I have procrastinating problems. Oh well xD

Ttfn. (:

3 years ago | Comments (2)

ShOeLaCe_E

Taken From TWLOHAYou are going to move through this.

More importantly, I love you. YOU ARE GOING TO MOVE THROUGH THIS.
Don't be defeated. Submit yourself to the process. You are growing. You are changing. You are doing LIFE.

I am not trying to make you feel better. This fucking hurts, and there are no two ways around it.
But I am trying to encourage you to not retreat. I can't remove the pain, but I am going to hold your hand while it hurts.

Continue to reach out. You need people right now.

I'm here for anything you need.

You are LOVED in ways you cannot imagine. In ways that don't depend on you. In ways that don't depend on your performance. In ways that cannot be lost. Remember Remember Remember.

Love you my friend.

- Anonymous

3 years ago | Comments (0)

ShOeLaCe_E

Overwhelmed.School started like a week and a half ago.
Fun i guess.
New people.
Fun times already.
Memories.

IM TAKING ADVANCED COMP WITH CHELS. ONE WORD: AMAZING!
though i fail at writing as of now.
):

But other than that, mom troubles again.
Sister is my sister.
My dad is still amazing.
And everyone else i talk to SUCKS! (:

I wish it were December already....

3 years ago | Comments (3) | + 1 Ditto

ShOeLaCe_E

Tattoo Ideas? Wanna help?So I'm deff getting one done next summer with my dad's gf.

Chiodos lyric, left side. Like so.

BUT BIG PROBLEM.
I can't decide what lyrics I want done.
They all mean so much to me.

So here's where you guys can help.
Just tell me your favorites and I'll eventually choose.

"We all know that you're a beautiful girl in this horrible world."
"I can't stop holding this treasure in my arms, all the water in the ocean could never turn the swans legs from black to white."
"Did my heart love until now cause I feel as though I've never seen beauty till this night. I'm forever yours, yeah, I'm forever yours."
"You're wearing your skin like it's too tight."
"It's so easy to get lost in constantly having to present whatever face you believe a person wants to see, rather than your own."
"Deep in the hearts that will never be filled, And we will wait, We will wait in that place. Still all I'm looking for is something. Something that I've found. We can't go back."
"If I could just do these things. If i could just do these things. Each and everyday wouldn't pass the way that they so often do. That they so often do. Maybe just maybe. Life would be everything we wanted it to be. "
"You keep tugging on my shirt, just to pull me closer. One single step at a time, your skin against mine. I can just feel you under me, fit to be tight." (a little to sexual for my Dad's taste XD)
"I'm not the one that you want. I'll only let you down. And I'm pretty sure that you've caught on."
"I think it's everytime I walk into a room, a silence so sudden that I seem to hear it. Smiles turn to frown. Contact saying that you are the rain on their parade."
"Now that you've turned the world against me, I'm only trying to wim them back."
"All the world's a stage." (Craig Owen's has this tattood across this neck)
"I exist because I dreames and well, I dream no more." (my favorite, atm)
"To the girl that can't forgive me. Take these misunderstandings and send them back whre they came from. Take these misunderstandings, it's hard enough to live life as it is." (kinda sketchy)
"GIve me your hand. The departure of the theif and monster is far from over but everything is gonna be just fine. We live in fear and danger of them, their delicate cheeks will turn to rolling flesh. One day women will all become monsters."
"I'll stop stabbing when you stop screaming."
"Star crossed lovers obess. Alluring dreams of touching starry skies. I'll love you until my last breath."
"We say what we feel, Then we stop ourselves. And just walk away. Never looking back, Loving every second of it, We just walk away."
"Float like angels." (kinda too short for me)
"If your stomach feels weak then my work here is done."
"Higher than the heavens the clouds part ways. 'Promise me to never look down!' and we'll stay like this forever."
"Finding oneself in such murderous shame, Playing roulette with a flower, Mislead devotion into seclusion."
"I'll keep dreaming. Not another word sweetheart. Nothing is perfect, but this has to be someday. So I'll keep dreaming. We have to be someday."
"I've resolved upon this course, which has no need of you. Denying this day, didn't stop it from happening. Promise me, that you won't be consumed when you realize, we're screaming at the same moon."
"You're too beautiful, I can never compare with your picture perfect smile, and flowing borwn hair. No one will be able to give you what you deserve."
"I could spend forever with you. But that's the last thing that would make you happy. You want to spend forever alone. Or at least I hope you do."
"We're on a search to find the feeling for which we all die. It appeared, the answer ot the question. And a reason to smile."
"And the lover still lover, and the liar still lied."
"And this is for the best, me seeing you less. Sleeping in is what you callt he best. God i knows I'm plenty hurt. And better off alone. I know I can do it, But I'm not sure how."

And...thats it.
Re-writing these, I found a few that didn't see good as tattoos but just let me know what you think.
All comments appreciated.
Thanks.
Brittney.

3 years ago | Comments (11)

ShOeLaCe_E

No Hardcore Dancing In The Living RoomI've resolved upon this course, which has no need of you
Denying this day, didn't stop it from coming
Promise me, that you won't be consumed when you realize
We're screaming at the same moon

Shredded by state lines
Press my face up against the glass
With both eyelids shut and baby, this won't get any easier

Don't let this die, we may never fall in love again
It's hard but worth the wait when it's over

Now open up wide, fist first down your throat
Where no beauty lies, and rip out what should've been mine

Comfort always made the rescue, we always hoped 'for the best'
I'll burn this with torches, and drown in my consideration

This past couple days has been kinda tough for me.
Phone broke, internet cut off..no biggie really. (:
Dad's broke - thats when it starts to set in.
I see a job in my near future along with a driver's license.
Senior year starts August 31st for me.
Really anxious actually.
Well...thats enough for now.
Don't really feel like being on here.
Love you all.
- Brittney

3 years ago | Comments (1)