Achievement Hunter

Great LossAs much as I dislike the team from the state up north. I do respect the legacy Mr. Bo Schembechler gave to the greatest college football rivalry of all times.

Bo and Woody.... together once again.

6 years ago | Comments (2) | + 2 Ditto

pryman

All the marblesNo jokes, no digs, no cuts, no sarcasm, no anything today. For this is the day that counts. It is going to be a great game where either team could win. I do think that OSU will win, but this is both team's game to loose. So much is riding on this match; the winner of this game will most likely be the national champion.
prediction

So, to all those who disagree with my prediction, I wish you luck and pray it will be a good game where the best team wins and no one gets hurt.

~pryman

6 years ago | Comments (2) | + 1 Ditto

pryman

Beat the team up north, Day 6A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work.
The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a
broom, and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store." "But
I'm a graduate of the University of Michigan," the young man replied
indignantly. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize that," said the manager.
"Here, give me the broom - I'll show you how."

A Professor invents an IQ machine that boosts a person's IQ to 300 and
then starts counting backward. He connects his wife to it, turns it off
at 190, and she starts explaining quantum physics. He tries it out on
his brother Bill, turns it off at 175, and Bill starts talking advanced
calculus. Then he plugs in his cousin Bob. Just then the phone rings,
and it's a telemarketer. By the time he gets back to unplug Bob, the
machine is counting down: 14 - 13 - 12. He slams the switch to "off,"
shakes Bob and screams, "Say something!" and Bob says, "Go blue!"

A stockbroker, on his way home from work in Columbus, came to a dead
halt in traffic and thought to himself, "Wow, this seems much worse than
usual." He notices a police officer walking between the lines of stopped
cars. The officer replies, "Lloyd Carr is depressed, so he stopped the
team bus and is threatening to douse himself in gasoline and set himself
on fire. He is tired of losing to Ohio State every year and the
university has cut back on his recruiting budget. We're taking up a
collection for him." The stockbroker asks, "How much have you got so
far?" The officer replies, "About 75 gallons, but a lot of folks are
still siphoning."

An Ann Arbor judge was ruling in the case of a ten year old boy who
accused his parents of beating him. After reviewing the evidence, the
judge announced that his intention to make the boy's grandmother his
custodian. The boy protested this, stating that the grandmother also
beat the boy. Finally, the judge awarded custody of the boy to Lloyd
Carr and the Wolverines, since the judge rightly determined that they
can't beat anybody.

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What
setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What
does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, "Go Michigan." "Use Hot
Water , A box of Tide and Four Cups Bleach."

Bo Schembeckler died and went to heaven. St. Peter met him at the gate.
"It is so great to have you here Coach." St. Peter leads Bo to a nice
little 2 bedroom ranch home painted maize and blue. Upon entering, Bo
finds the house decorated in Michigan colors with "M"'s all over. St.
Peter leads Bo to the nice backyard with patio. Bo looks up on the high
hill above his new home and sees a giant mansion all decked out in
Scarlet and Gray and a big Block "O" flag flying on the flag pole. Bo
turns to St. Peter and angerly asks: "Why in the heck does Woody get
such a big house and I get this little ranch house??" "Oh," says St.
Peter, "that is not Woody's house, that is God's house."

Jake was dying. His wife, Becky, was maintaining a candlelight vigil by
his side. She held his fragile hand, tears running down her face. Her
praying roused him from his slumber. He looked up and his pale lips
began to move slightly. "Becky my darling" he whispered. "Hush my love,"
she said. "Rest, don't talk." He was insistent. "Becky," he said in his
tired voice, "I have something that I must confess." "There's nothing to
confess," replied the weeping Becky. "Every thing's all right, go to
sleep." "No, no. I must die in peace, Becky. I...I have been a Michigan
Fan all of my life!" "I know sweetheart," whispered Becky, "let the
poison work."

A Michigan grad sees an ad for a $99 cruise. He goes to the travel agent
and pays the fee. The travel agent hits him over the head with a club,
stuffs him in a sack, throws him out the window onto a raft and cuts the
raft loose. The Michigan grad wakes up floating in the ocean, along with
another Michigan graduate. "I hope they serve dinner on this cruise,"
the first grad says. "They didn't last year," the second one replies.

6 years ago | Comments (1) | + 1 Funny

pryman

Day 5A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a
Michigan joke?" The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that
joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs., and I am a Michigan
alumnus. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2 tall, weighs 225, and he's a
Michigan alumnus. The fella next to him is 6'5 tall, weighs 250, and he's a
Michigan alumnus. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?" The first guy says,
"Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it 3 times."

Three profs go to Tijuana. They had so much fun they were put in jail
and, justice being what it is, were sentenced to death by electrocution.
The first Prof sits in the chair. "Any last words?" "Yes, I'm from
Northwestern and I'm ready to meet my God." But nothing happens when the
switch is thrown and the Prof is released because it would be cruel and
unusual to attempt a second excecution. Next guy gets into the chair and
announces he's from Purdue, etc. and again nothing happens and he is
released. The third Prof has been watching very closely. When he gets
into the chair he says, "I'm from U. of Michigan and I'm an Electrical
Engineer. And if you just connect those two wires..."

Lloyd carr is on the Ohio 5 yard line in the closing seconds of a game
tied 14 - 14 and prays for inspiration. He looks to the heavens and says
"God what play should I call." God answers "throw a flat pass to the
right". Lloyd calls the play and it is intercepted and returned all the
way for a touchdown giving Ohio State the win. Lloyd once again looks to
the heavens and says "God why did you call that play". God pauses and
says "Hey Woody why did we call that play?"

When the Heisman trophy winner died and was at the pearly gates, St
Peter asked what he had accomplished to be allowed in. The football
player responded with all of his awards, yardage gained, etc and
suddenly stopped short screaming "Look it is Woody Hayes" as the man
passed by him. St Peter then corrected him saying, "No, it is God...He
only thinks he is Woody Hayes"

A Buckeye fan, a Wolverine fan, a nun and a stunning blonde are riding
on a train. Suddenly the train heads into a tunnel. A loud smack is
heard and as the train rides out of the tunnel the Wolverine fan is
rubbing his face. The nun thinks: "Serves him right for trying to grab
the blonde." The blonde thinks: "Serves him right for trying to grab the
nun." The Wolverine fan thinks: "The Buckeyes fan was probably trying to
grab the blonde, missed her and grabbed the nun instead. Then she tried
to smack him in the face and missed." The Buckeye fan thinks: "Next
tunnel I'm going to smack that stupid Wolverine fan again."

Directions to Michigan........ North till you smell crap, then West till
you step in it.

6 years ago | Comments (2) | + 2 Funny

pryman

Beat the team up north Week, Day 4It's song time....

We don't give a damn for the whole state of Michigan
The whole state of Michigan, the whole state of Michigan,
We don't give a damn for the whole state of Michigan
'Cause we're from O-HI-O.

We don't give a damn for the whole state of Michigan
The whole state of Michigan, the whole state of Michigan,
We don't give a damn for the whole state of Michigan
'Cause we're from O-HI-O.

--------------------------

Oh come let's sing Ohio's praise
And songs to Alma Matter Raise.
While our hearts resounding thrill
With joy which death alone can still.

Summer's heat or winter's cold
The season pass, the years will roll.
Time and change will surely show
How firm they friendship
O - HI - O

6 years ago | Comments (2)

pryman

Beat The state up north Week, Day 3A teacher starts a new job in West Lafeyette, Indiana. To make a good impression, she says that she's a Purdue fan. She asks the class if they're fans too. All raise their hands but 1 little girl. The teacher asks her why she didn't raise her hand. "Because I'm a Buckeye fan, and proud of it," the girl replied.
The teacher asks, "Why are you a Buckeye fan?"
"Because my Mom & Dad are Buckeye fans, so I'm a Buckeye fan too!"
"Well," said the teacher, "that's not a reason for you to be a Buckeye fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your Mom was a prostitute and your Dad was a drug addict, car thief, and wrote bad checks, what would you be then?"
The girl said, "I'd be a Michigan fan."

General Schwarzkopf was walking through the desert during the Gulf War when he found a lamp on the ground. He picked it up, rubbed, and out came a genie. The genie said to the General, "I will grant you one wish." The General replied, "I wish that we will win this war. Here is a map of the desert and all the war parties. Please make us win the war." The genie responded, "I'm not that powerful of a genie. I cannot grant you that wish." "Well," the General responds, "then can you have University of Michigan win a bowl game this year?" After a moment, the genie says, "Let me see that map again."

6 years ago | Comments (1) | + 1 Funny

pryman

Couldn't wait 'till tomorrowFour college alumni were climbing a mountain one day: an Ohio State grad, a Michigan grad, a Penn State grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans at their alma mater. As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They continued to argue all the way up the mountain, and finally as they reached the top, the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off the mountain, shouting "This is for the Fighting Irish!" as he fell to his doom. Not wanting to be out done, the Penn State grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for the Nittany Lions!" Seeing this the OSU grad walked over and shouted "This is for the Buckeyes!" and pushed the Wolverine off the side of the mountain.

6 years ago | Comments (3) | + 1 Funny

pryman

Beat Michigan Week Day 2This is the only week whereby I cannot and will not talk to Michigan fans.
So, all you Buckeyes... enjoy!

________________________________________________

Q: What's the difference between a Michigan fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

Q: Why don't Michigan fans let their kids play in sand boxes?
A: Because cats keep covering them up.

Q: Why do Michigan fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the University of Michigan campus?
A: A visitor.

Q: What should you do if you find three Michigan fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.

Q: What do you get when you cross a Michigan fan and a pig?
A: Nothing. There's some things that a pig will not do.

Q: Did you hear about the University of Michigan fan who locked his keys in his car?
A: He couldn't get his family out.

Q: Did you hear about the fire in University of Michigan's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?
A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.

Q: How many University of Michigan freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's a sophomore course.

6 years ago | Comments (3) | + 1 Funny