Random dude on the sidewalk while I was on my way to pick up my shoes from the cobbler: "You're very cute. You should be a model." Me: /deadpan/ "No, I shouldn't." Random dude: "Why not?" Me: /keeps walking/
I couldn't help but think of Tucker from Red vs. Blue asking "Hey, are you a model or famous actress?" and then burst out laughing.
In which I am a complete dorkI'd post this on Facebook except everyone who knows the both of us (by "both of us" I mean me and the guy I'm talking about) is on there so I figured I'd share it with a bunch of strangers on the interwebs. Long story short, I have a date tomorrow. That pretty much never happens ever! So that means whenever it does happen, it's completely like the first time and I'm nervous and awkward and rubbish. I suspect it will sort of be a lot like this:
Except I can't call Jack or anyone else and ask "How do you door?" I'm still pretty excited anyway.
So, this is what I was doing last night.Apparently I am a masochist because I decided to enter an alleycat despite more or less being the slowest rider in my Wednesday group and being too timid to do things like run red lights or go down the wrong way on one way streets on my bicycle.
Still, this poster was very convincing:
I mean, riding bikes and eating candy? Not to mention raising money for charity? So I signed up.
I had two goals:
1. Not die. 2. Finish the course.
Placing didn't even occur to me.
At registration, I ran into my friend Harry from the Wednesday ride and we plotted a course. By "we," I mean, I looked over his shoulder and said "yeah that looks good" while he outlined the streets and checkpoints with a sharpie or I looked things up on my smartphone if neither of us had ever heard of the checkpoint location. Our other friends from the Wednesday social ride showed up and Jon had a better course plotted so we just decided to follow him.
However, once all the bikes were on the ground and we had to sprint to get to them (not sure if this is a usual alleycat thing), all planning went out the window. In a panic, I followed a majority of the racers down the wrong way on a one way despite Jon and Harry's plan to go a couple blocks up and take the main street the right way to the checkpoint. I ended up zig-zagging through a bunch of weird sidestreets and more or less saw everyone as they biked away from the first checkpoint.
There was a split between people going to JP for the remote 7/11 checkpoint and those who went for the downtown checkpoints. I ended up getting turned around in Chinatown, but somehow made good time at the second and third checkpoints [downtown]. Everyone got lost around the Charlestown checkpoint and even though I knew the part of Cambridge where two other checkpoints were, I still got turned around trying to find a shortcut. I hauled ass down the Mass ave bridge, tried to cut through Fenway (despite there being a lot of people out, was there a game that night?) and got to the Diabetes center checkpoint right after it closed. :( Needless to say, I didn't make the remote 7/11 checkpoint despite it being on my home turf in JP since it was too far out and the checkpoint volunteers were already heading to the afterparty.
The after party was pretty fantastic. I got to witness my first footdown, which is basically like thunderdome for bicycles. The entrants all ride around in a circle on the bike polo court, then we close the circle. Elimination occurs when a rider places a foot down on the ground. Everything is more or less permitted so traffic cones got tossed in the way, people started kicking each other. It was more or less like a gladitorial event combined with chariot racing. There were Ben Hur style clashes and spectators throwing/spraying cans of beers. I experienced bloodlust and enjoyed it (although as unofficial team medic, I offered Bre some bandages when she fell and started bleeding... she almost won for "best crash.").
The results were posted the next morning. I'm under "DNF" for "Did Not Finish." Still, I don't think I did too bad for someone who got lost, had never done an alleycat and is generally a slow rider. I also got to eat candy, drink some free beer and hung out with some really awesome people at the afterparty. The race organizer, Roz, gave me a hug and said she was always glad to see more girls at the races.
Jon and Craig from the social Wednesday group placed in the top 10 and Harry would have placed if he didn't get turned around by the final checkpoint.
Another conversation with urmnothanks(10:32:13 PM) urmnothanks: Carolina! (10:32:36 PM) urmnothanks: Is she attracted to Griff for his Yellow armor? (10:32:47 PM) urmnothanks: Is she all like "Wash!" in her head (10:32:48 PM) urmnothanks: And then like (10:32:50 PM) urmnothanks: "Awwww..." (10:32:55 PM) urmnothanks: I mean (10:32:56 PM) urmnothanks: York (10:32:59 PM) urmnothanks: York! (10:33:06 PM) janevalenz: aw (10:33:06 PM) urmnothanks: Oh right...York is dead... (10:33:10 PM) janevalenz: :'( (10:33:15 PM) janevalenz: except Grif is orange (10:33:17 PM) janevalenz: and chubby (10:33:19 PM) janevalenz: and really lazy (10:33:25 PM) urmnothanks: FAT YROK (10:33:26 PM) urmnothanks: *YORK (10:33:29 PM) janevalenz: lol (10:33:31 PM) janevalenz: like fat apollo (10:33:32 PM) urmnothanks: Like Fat Apollo, but Yorkier (10:33:34 PM) janevalenz: lol (10:33:42 PM) janevalenz: grif isn't like york at all though (10:33:55 PM) urmnothanks: But if she just saw him in the distance (10:33:58 PM) janevalenz: I loved how grif had to go secure the perimiter in the shady spot. (10:34:00 PM) urmnothanks: Her heart would jump (10:34:06 PM) urmnothanks: And then she'd remember (10:34:11 PM) janevalenz: WHY WOULD YOU EVEN POST SOMETHING LIKE THAT? (10:34:14 PM) janevalenz: :'( (10:34:16 PM) urmnothanks: ? (10:34:20 PM) urmnothanks: Post? (10:34:38 PM) janevalenz: [reference to this: ]media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzpmkhtUOB1r7s22x.jpg] (10:34:40 PM) urmnothanks: But it's just a fat, lazy idiot (10:34:48 PM) janevalenz: so heartbreaking (10:34:54 PM) urmnothanks: lol (10:35:11 PM) janevalenz: 25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5vx4r3uAq1qm16qno1_50... (10:35:20 PM) urmnothanks: Wanted this (10:35:21 PM) urmnothanks: fc06.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2011/328/6/9/agent_yor... (10:35:22 PM) janevalenz: Commentary: Some things just run in the Stark blood. Like genius. And appreciating what it can do for a body. Although Tony should probably appreciate it outside of Steve‚Äôs shower. OTP: my dad made me a boyfriend OTP: my dad made me a boyfriend (10:35:26 PM) urmnothanks: Got this (10:35:26 PM) urmnothanks: images2.fanpop.com/images/photos/2900000/Luke-Mc... (10:35:32 PM) janevalenz: lol aw
Seriously. Neal Stephenson is one of my favorite living authors right now. His deadpan delivery of "I've been writing science and historical fiction for three decades. Well screw that, I wanna make a video game." made me lol pretty hard.