Signed up: 9 years ago (10/04/04)
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BlackPenguin Guardian x4
BlackPenguin Guardian x4
The Concept of a "Bad Movie"I got a bone to pick with it.

I'm not sure you know what a "bad movie" is. You may think you do, but odds are you don't. You may think movies like I, Frankenstein, Mission to Mars, Battlefield Earth, or Daredevil are bad movies. But you'd be wrong. Those movies are actually decent. In my opinion, most people do not have a fully informed concept of a "bad movie".

If a movie made it into theaters on a national level, it's at least decent. The worst movies in the world are the ones you have never even heard of. They don't make it into theaters. They're not on demand. You can't buy them on iTunes. You can't download them on your gaming console. They're the movies that you find at brick and mortar video rental stores, with only one non-Blu Ray copy on the shelf. They're the movies that movie rating websites have no ratings for, because no one watched them and took the time to rate them. They don't show up in the system and because of this, they don't make it into the grand scale of bad to good.

I'm talking about movies like Spike, The Item, or The Farm.

How did I see these movies you ask? Well, my father loves movies. And I don't mean he has good movie taste. He loves to put a movie in, and watch it. Good or bad. He would go to the movie rental store on Tuesday, and rent whatever action/horror movie that came out. Sometimes you heard of it, and sometimes it looked like it was made by homeless people and snuck onto the shelf. As a result, I've seen some terrible movies. It has given me a new appreciation for the actual scale of bad to good. Because of him, I still prefer to rent physical movies instead of streaming or downloading them (shout out to Hastings).

Media and the public only like to talk about popular and big budget movies. As a result, their point of reference is very skewed. I lost faith in critics and movie websites a long time ago. When someone says "Oh, it got ____ on Rotten Tomatoes", I don't give a shit. That means nothing. "That movie only made this much money", "Critics hated it", "It didn't make it past #__ of its opening weekend". All of those phrases meant jack squat. Some time back, Rotten Tomatoes made a list of worst movies of all time. Guess what? The majority of them were in theaters nationwide. I could find 100 movies in a video store that are worse than any one on that list. What was especially upsetting, was that Larry the Cable Guy barely broke the top ten. Take a look at the top two. Now those aren't great movies by any stretch, but they're damn better than a Larry the Cable Guy movie.

You can't trust movie ratings. You can't even trust a movie's profitability. You can only trust yourself when it comes to how "good" a movie is. However, you have to have sense of perspective. That is something I believe a lot of people are lacking, because they only see decent or better movies that had theatrical releases. Sure, they may occasionally hear of a really bad movie like Birdemic, but that only happens when the movie reaches a cult reputation and people watch it because it's bad. Truly bad movies aren't watched by most people. A truly bad movie is one you can't even watch. One you can't even stomach. It's not funny and you can't laugh at it. It's not entertaining. When you see a really bad movie, you only feel bad for the people in it and feel cheated out of precious time you could have spent doing something else.

I challenge you to watch one of those three movies I linked. See if you can even finish them. Seeing them might change your mind about previous movies you thought were bad.
2 months ago  |  Comments (2)
BlackPenguin Guardian x4
I Love It WhenYou're browsing some funny content on a website having nothing to do with Rooster Teeth.............and a funny picture, gif, or clip from AH or RT pops up on there.
2 months ago  |  Comments (0)
BlackPenguin Guardian x4
Master Chief vs Captain America?So, there's this thing called Super Power Beat Down by a youtube group called batinthesun. They take fantasy fight matchups, break them down, and make actual live action fights. The first half of the videos are hard to watch, but the fights are fucking awesome.

They have a video coming out soon where Captain America fights Master Chief. Winner is determined by a poll. Trouble is, the Cap fanboys/fangirls are going apeshit and probably winning the poll.

I'm sorry, but Master Chief would win that battle EASILY. Even without the armor, MC is already as tough or tougher than Captain. He also has a childhood of military indoctrination and decades of warfare experience. Add the armor, and it's a landslide. I can't believe that everyone thinks Cap would win.

What do yall think?
2 months ago  |  Comments (2)
BlackPenguin Guardian x4
Guardian App SubmittedFirst choice was panels, second choice was Center Stage.

Dis gonna be good.
2 months ago  |  Comments (2)
BlackPenguin Guardian x4
Guardian Applications TomorrowI'm so excited. I love this time of year. Seeing everyone's application journals. It's awesome.

No surprise, I'm applying again. Trying to make it 4 years in a row of being a Guardian. I need to work on my little mini-essay portion again. I lost the one I used last year.

I'm probably going to go for panels again, but I always try to put a lot of thought into my 2nd and 3rd options.


Are you applying too?
2 months ago  |  Comments (9)
BlackPenguin Guardian x4
QuestionSo, I might be a stupid reddit noob, but does anyone know why I can't downvote stuff in the RT subreddit? There's no button for me.
3 months ago  |  Comments (2)
BlackPenguin Guardian x4
Year In ReviewOne year ago, I told 2013 to bring its worst. And man, did it. But I survived. There is indeed some hardships coming my way in the beginning of 2014, but I have prepared myself for them as best I can. 2014, I'm looking forward to you. I feel that you're going to be a significant year in my life.

And so, as I prepare to mosey on up to Austin to meet some RvBTX peeps, I leave you with a small selection of 2013's events. Enjoys.

--Started and quit two different jobs, both for good reasons.
--Lost and gained about 16 pounds, multiple times.
--Told 1,000+ people how to enter and sit down in a room.
--Started reading scary stories more.
--Saw my blood in a test tube for the first time.
--Bought a webcam that I never used.
--Went to the ER (not serious).
--Started a lego architecture collection.
--Spent part of Thanksgiving with multiple felons in a correctional facility.
--Bought a novelty ice cube tray.
--Told Jen Taylor (the voice of Cortana from Halo) that she was needed in another room and escorted her.
--Installed a new sink and garbage dispoal.
--Went to a 25 hour video game marathon for charity.
--Found my new favorite gin.
--Played Christmas carols for an insurance agency in Austin.
--Got a bunch of Halo achievements.
--Mingled and worked with internet celebrities.
--Bought a pair of combat boots.
--Organized 4 hours of a 24 hour multi-continent online stream for a philanthropic organization.

Have a safe one community. Don't drive buzzed/drunk, don't let others do so, use condoms, be nice to others, respond promptly to fires, and take care of yourself. But most importantly, have fun.

3 months ago  |  Comments (0)
BlackPenguin Guardian x4
Halo 4 TodayHey. I'm going for a couple Halo 4 achievements for an hour or two today at 7pm central. That's in 1.5 hours. My gamertag is TheBlackPenguin. Come on down. Castle DLC needed for at least one achievement.
3 months ago  |  Comments (0)
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