Here's a story.I've been dying to get a new couch for years. The one I have now is huge and awesome but old and has survived toddler years, traveling homeless friends, and cats, to name a few.

Yesterday I went to look at a new couch I saw online, but unfortunately didn't love it irl. I wandered the store for awhile with no attempts at contact from salespeople. Now, this isn't really news. I showed up combat boots, leggings and old ratty T shirt, all tattoos and messy hair (you kids know how I roll). I have never in my adult life (save when I'm grown-up costumed for work) been the type of broad people rush to aid in a sales environment. Now, I'm not talking Julia Roberts can't buy no ball gown for the opera ignoring, just more of a clearly she's not serious and may just cause trouble so lets just pretend she's not here kind of vibe. You dig?

After maybe half an hour of flopping on couches and flipping cushions to check stitching, a little old man named Bob limped up to me to ask if he could help me with anything.

"Well yes. I want to buy a couch."

Ok says Bob. What are you looking for?

"I need something huge and squashy. Something deep that I can fall asleep in, ideally with removable fort cushions made of some kind of material that doesn't make me want to not sit on it."

Ok again, says dependable Bob. "What's your price range."

"Well Bob, I don't care."

Now. Keep in mind. I was at one of those big old lots of furniture mid-range $ type stores. Not a warehouse of build it yourself particle board, but I wasn't selling my soul for italian velvet here either. But the change in attention to the weirdo girl in boys shoes certainly changed and I was given a guided tour through every goddamned stick of wood in the entire place.

And in 2-3 weeks I am being delivered a brand new couch that's huge and squishy and roll-around all day watching rocky - rocky IV on without ever putting on pants worthy.

And the fort is going to be epic.

tl;dr: be nice to weirdos. they may boost your sales commission.

Martha Marin is nose-diving from cliffs of glass.

Here's a story.I've been dying to get a new couch for years. The one I have now is huge and awesome but old and has survived toddler years, traveling homeless friends, and cats, to name a few.

Yesterday I went to look at a new couch I saw online, but unfortunately didn't love it irl. I wandered the store for awhile with no attempts at contact from salespeople. Now, this isn't really news. I showed up combat boots, leggings and old ratty T shirt, all tattoos and messy hair (you kids know how I roll). I have never in my adult life (save when I'm grown-up costumed for work) been the type of broad people rush to aid in a sales environment. Now, I'm not talking Julia Roberts can't buy no ball gown for the opera ignoring, just more of a clearly she's not serious and may just cause trouble so lets just pretend she's not here kind of vibe. You dig?

After maybe half an hour of flopping on couches and flipping cushions to check stitching, a little old man named Bob limped up to me to ask if he could help me with anything.

"Well yes. I want to buy a couch."

Ok says Bob. What are you looking for?

"I need something huge and squashy. Something deep that I can fall asleep in, ideally with removable fort cushions made of some kind of material that doesn't make me want to not sit on it."

Ok again, says dependable Bob. "What's your price range."

"Well Bob, I don't care."

Now. Keep in mind. I was at one of those big old lots of furniture mid-range $ type stores. Not a warehouse of build it yourself particle board, but I wasn't selling my soul for italian velvet here either. But the change in attention to the weirdo girl in boys shoes certainly changed and I was given a guided tour through every goddamned stick of wood in the entire place.

And in 2-3 weeks I am being delivered a brand new couch that's huge and squishy and roll-around all day watching rocky - rocky IV on without ever putting on pants worthy.

And the fort is going to be epic.

tl;dr: be nice to weirdos. they may boost your sales commission.

Martha Marin is nose-diving from cliffs of glass.