Signed up: 6 years ago (10/18/08)
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Jeremy Cast & Crew
Jeremy Cast & Crew
Made an AH rap battle while bored at workEPIC RAP BATTLES OF ROOSTERTEETH!




C’mon Beardy! Let’s get this off our chests
And I’m not talking about the bra that’s holding in those breasts.
I’m the father of achievement hunter
The real OG
All the fame you have today
You got because of me.
I’m being pretty nice to call what you have ‘fame’
I’m sorry… is your voice in all the Halo games?
When AHWU goes up, everybody tunes in
Then slam on the mute when your sections begins.
That radio voice is the best thing you’ve got
Too bad when Ryan talks we can’t tell you apart!
I’ve been quiet too long, so I’m losing the gloves
Droppin bearded bitches harder than the corpirate does!
I’m the face of victory
Serving constant comedy
Schooling lads left and right while I’m sipping on whiskey
When it comes to AH, there’s no doubt I’m the best
It’s like you saddled me up, just to ride my success.


Achievement Hunter was nothing before I came around
If you had it alone. It’d be flat on the ground
Everyone knows just how much work I do
I’ll smack you so hard you’ll see butterflies, too!
I’m what’s hot, your what’s not
Knocking back twenty shots
Until you drop your work on me because you got too cocked!
I see you every single week to go another round
Made you spell PIG more than Old McDonald hears its sound!
I’m the voice of AH, I got my face on a shirt
No one even noticed you were gone when your thumb got hurt!
I may have gotten far off of your idea
But without my help you wouldn’t still have a career
I’ve had the tower more than you
and was the first to win GO
Yet I’m the guy who has to edit almost every single show
You’re a lazy, drunken, tattooed little louse
So fuck you and this rap.
I’m gunna go build a house!


Enough! This rap battle has gone to far
So get lost in the sick slick riffs from Mogar
I’m the loudest in the Let’s Plays
Without me they feel dead
Taking countless towers home just from bashing in heads
You guys brought me on just so AH could grow
Now I’m the only one here with his own solo show
I’m the guy behind all the best vids, that’s a fact
So brace while I surgeon sim my fist up your ass!
People laugh when I scream,
They clap when I scoff
I get a ‘thank you’ for telling fans to ‘fuck off!’
I’m a pivotal player. I get to work with my wife.
Now step off, before I make you rage quit your own life!


Woah, take a step back
And rethink the whole thing
Cause there’s only one who’s the best
All hail the Mad King!
I’m an animator baby. Who can run a PC
So when times got tough you came crawling to me
From the first Let’s Play I’ve been making you money
And all the comments read “Wow, when did Jack get funny?”
I made one little gadget and became “the smartest guy here”
Solve an equation and I’ll be made “genius of the year”
I’m the leader of the crew,
I’m the best through and through
Beat you so much the tower lives at Kung-Fu
I’m like a mad scientist. I’m in complete control
I’ll name you all Edgar and shove your asses in a hole!


Hold it right there, you mingy, drippy spaffs
I’m over here working while you’re having a laugh
I spend all my time editing Minecraft plays
One hour late, and we’re getting complaints for days
You didn’t think that I’d get so many fans?
One funny guy in a group of dumb Americans?
When I talk, they laugh. I play a game, they buy it.
I’m not in a Let’s Play? Well then they all riot!
I’ll drown you in rhymes.
Like a lyrical ocean.
Go creeper on your ass and play it back in slow motion.
I’m the only fun one. You’re all stuck in a rut
My words will shoot you down like M-M-M-MARK NUTT!


OH! The Puerto Rican’s stepping in to this rap battle fight
Five on one. Pfft. I mean YOLO right?
My constant wins keep fans jumping out of their seats
Slapping all your bitch faces when I spin my meat
I get a shirt every day
I’m made of catchphrases
RTX was full of people saying they were gunna go cakeless
I might be a junior, but I’m still a big man
Owning the tower of pimps since that battle began
C’mon you guys, this is Achievement Hunter
My gamerscore is higher than yours combined with each other
I’m the funniest one here. That, everyone knows
So get back to your desks, before I beat you down with a rose!



11 months ago  |  Comments (145)
145 COMMENTS Sort by Likes · Date
scottster246 Clever girl
This was absolutely hilarious , gotta go with the mad king on this one

If you do more of these how about podcast crew? Gus, Kara, Brandon and Chris?
#1  Posted 11 months ago
scottster246 Clever girl
God, Burnie vs Joel would end in world war three
#2  Posted 11 months ago
USMCMatt Sponsor
Fight fight fight! Kiss kiss kiss.
#3  Posted 11 months ago
Stuart sponsor
This was brilliant. I even imagined the rap beat in my head as I rapped it out loud. If you could make this a real video I would really enjoy watching it
#2  Posted 11 months ago
This was creative as hell man!
#3  Posted 11 months ago
DeadlyFrogs O Fireland
This was brilliant! How long did it take you. God I would love to see them turn this into a Short. They could totally do it too! This was hilarious man.
#4  Posted 11 months ago
Took me about an hour and a half. Had a lot of fun doing it too.
#1  Posted 11 months ago
DeadlyFrogs O Fireland
I can imagine! Man, you must of been racking your brain at parts trying to come up with some of those rhymes. They're so clever
#2  Posted 11 months ago
PkChris Wall Toucher
You sir, have made my day! This is incredibly clever, probably one of the best things I've seen this year :)
#5  Posted 11 months ago
Adam_Dos_0 DBAHdass
Gus vs. Burnie
#6  Posted 11 months ago
ninjacake Fusion Haaaa
Thanks for this! It was fucking awesome!
#7  Posted 11 months ago
McDom Benefactor
This is quality right here dude. Love it!
Imagine if the guys actually rapped this and made a video it'd be awesome!
#8  Posted 11 months ago
SailorTweek RTX BOSS
This is brilliant! Wonderfully written!

I want to see a battle of the Masters of RT: Matt Burnie Gus Geoff Joel
And maybe a RWBY character rap battle, too XD
#9  Posted 11 months ago
Beardy Sponsor
they need to make a short out of this and any future ones you make.
And i take offence to geoffs beardy remarks...
#10  Posted 11 months ago
Mikey88 Sponsor
IT took me longer to read just for the fact that I kept laughing! kudos! btw The Mad king won this round. ALL HAIL THE MAD KING!
#11  Posted 11 months ago
Mikey88 Sponsor
Burnie Vs Gus
#1  Posted 11 months ago
Xaryn Monk of Form
This is one of the greatest things I've ever seen online. I really hope they see this and do it in a video!
#12  Posted 11 months ago
Tristan T Booty
I've not had as much as much fun reading as I did this in a long time, it was absolutely brilliant :D

I think a Gus vs Joel vs Burnie vs Matt vs Geoff is in order.
#13  Posted 11 months ago
HumanShishno Dwiggles
Wait, we need the B team as well! Kerry, Lindsay, and Caleb. Not sure if I'm missing someone...
#5  Posted 11 months ago
Tristan T Booty
I think that's all of them, but I'm gonna feel bad if we forgot someone.. :/
#6  Posted 11 months ago
Laurenz Sponsor
This was actually really good, and it had the same style than the real Epic Rap Battles Of History!
The best lines were:
"When AHWU goes up, everybody tunes in, then slam on the mute when your sections begins."
"I see you every single week to go another round, made you spell PIG more than Old McDonald hears its sound"!
"You guys brought me on just so AH could grow, now I’m the only one here with his own solo show"
"From the first Let’s Play I’ve been making you money, and all the comments read “Wow, when did Jack get funny?”"
"You didn’t think that I’d get so many fans? One funny guy in a group of dumb Americans?"
"C’mon you guys, this is Achievement Hunter, my gamerscore is higher than yours combined with each other"

In my opinion Michael won it, although Ryan's part about "when did Jack get so funny?" was pure brilliance too.

Please make more of these, it was fun as hell to read
#14  Posted 11 months ago
FriscoFlame BurnieJurnie
No love for shooting down like "MMMMMAAAAARK NUUUUUUUT"
#1  Posted 11 months ago
NightSaw Taco CEO
Joel vs. Monty
#15  Posted 11 months ago
MrBunns Music Maker
This. Was. Rad!

They need to make this happen! Like a secret behind the scenes.
#16  Posted 11 months ago
LemonLance Kokiri
This is bloody amazing XD
I put this track on and rapped the lyrics and fuck did it sound cool!
The time/tempo/rhythm may be different than what you thought when writing the lyrics, but it actually worked quite well

#17  Posted 11 months ago
sass_1317 Sponsor
Holy crap this is the best thing I've seen all day
#18  Posted 11 months ago
Wow that's amazing. I don't even know how you create that. That should so be a RT short with the guys doing that
#19  Posted 11 months ago
Audrey RTX Guardian
Dude. I think Ray won this one.

I like the idea of a Podcast-themed one. Maybe all-ladies could also be cool? Could be Kathleen, Barbara, Lindsay, and Kara or something?
#20  Posted 11 months ago
Vicky Sponsor
I am sobbing. Oh. My. God.

#21  Posted 11 months ago
Man, this was too good! I really hope this can be a regular thing(Maybe something on Achievements for idiots, or just more journals). It's really funny!
#22  Posted 11 months ago
BTW: We all know Mogar, The Mad King, or Jack won this.
#1  Posted 11 months ago
Jared Alcoholic
You could go all day just with Achievement Hunter. So many possibilities. Xray and Vav would be a funny one.
#23  Posted 11 months ago
AlphaLima_01 MadDovahKing

Written brilliantly!! Hope you do more! Team Crazy Mad, Team Nice Dynamite, X-ray and Vav and the podcast crew.

Now, here's to hoping the AH crew would see this and do a video xD *high hopes*
#24  Posted 11 months ago
Literally one of the best things I have ever seen in my life.

#25  Posted 11 months ago
MsJorable Sponsor
I just want to say I applaud you sir on your amazing rap.

It was absolutely top!
#26  Posted 11 months ago
Bman Brad
I laughed so hard at this, well done man, well done
#27  Posted 11 months ago
FriscoFlame BurnieJurnie
Fucking A Dude...if you plan on recording that sometime, let me know, haha...That was amazing!!! By the way...I'm split between Michael and Ryan for Winner
#28  Posted 11 months ago
WilliamPC Big Bad Wolf
You sir are my new favorite stranger
#29  Posted 11 months ago
sith2886 Sponsor
Someone get this guy the ToPhe wins. Damn, Can't decide between team lads or ryan
#30  Posted 11 months ago
sith2886 Sponsor
ToP he* (space bar isn't working)
#1  Posted 11 months ago
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