LET'S PLAY SOME MONOPOLY!

So...tomorrow the Westboro Baptist Church plans to picket the funeral of Slayer guitarist Jeff Hanneman.



The funny thing is, these...worshipers of God picked the convenient time where the ceremony of Jeff Hanneman is taking place. That means all of the fans that attend will be inside of a building while the WBC is sitting outside across the street with their signs of "love" and "peace."

If the WBC had some balls, they'd do it during the entire funeral service. But wait, they are doing this during a funeral service for a member of the thrash metal band SLAYER.

Expect something tomorrow in the news, because honestly, the last fans you ever want to piss off is Slayer fans.

I'm sure you've all noticed (and perhaps disparaged) a rise in "seflies" on this site. They have one thing in common, they all suck.

Do a better job of taking "selfies" Rooster Teeth.

If you're holding up that instagram app on your smartphone and all you've managed to conjure is a mildly seductive but more disinterested and bored face and a background that barely hides your bathroom, then you're doing it wrong.

So how do you take a "selfie"? Allow me to demonstrate!

Step One: The Setting

Where you took this "selfie" is incredibly important. It' probably won't show up in the photo, since it will just be your giant ass face. However don't let the lack of a real background stop you. You must still use this to your advantage.

Take stalk of your surroundings and use this opportunity to make as many people around you as possible uncomfortable.

For instance, process into a the graduation of a very prestigious program where a very important person is giving a speech that means quite a whole lot to the people around you.

You might have to take multiple photos, but trust me, you will succeed in making the people sitting around you more than a little uncomfortable.

However, if you take your typical disinterested pretend sexy face, you will only succeed in making them laugh at you in their heads.

Step Two: Make an Idiotic Face

I think that's self-explanatory but the more idiotic the face the better.

Step Three: Add a Filter

Cause it's a selfie, duh!

And now you have your picture. Remember the point of the selfie is not to make yourself look good, but to the make the people around you uncomfortable and make you laugh a little.



Now put the camera down and go grab your degree. The people around you may feel uncomfortable and judge you a little so don't forget to capitalize on that by turning to engage them in conversation about job prospects. That way you can make them even more uncomfortable by letting them know that the idiot making faces next to them isn't facing a shitty job market like they are, cause hell, you're already employed in your field, but what do they hope to do with their degree again? Awww how nice for them!