I </3 Weddings, :(So, again its been a while since I've been on here. I'm just so social, can't you tell? But while I'm here, why not post something to get the year-old message off my profile and further delay the prospects of sleep.

Life update: Let's see. Oh here's something fun:

My best friend is getting married in a month and I can't seem to stop being irreverently sarcastic about the frivolity of weddings. Don't get me wrong, marriages are fantastic, but weddings are pretentious and useless. It's really becoming a problem. It just kills me how at any of these such gatherings, sweet old ladies that honestly don't have a clue who I am, come to me as if we we...

I </3 Weddings, :(So, again its been a while since I've been on here. I'm just so social, can't you tell? But while I'm here, why not post something to get the year-old message off my profile and further delay the prospects of sleep.

Life update: Let's see. Oh here's something fun:

My best friend is getting married in a month and I can't seem to stop being irreverently sarcastic about the frivolity of weddings. Don't get me wrong, marriages are fantastic, but weddings are pretentious and useless. It's really becoming a problem. It just kills me how at any of these such gatherings, sweet old ladies that honestly don't have a clue who I am, come to me as if we were old friends and hug and kiss on me and tell me how great I look. I seriously don't know you, lady. But thank you. I can't wait till society forgets how to be proper. "Being proper" annoys the heck out of me. Stop touching me. Don't talk to me. I don't like you.

Seriously, you should have seen me at her bridal shower. The sarcasm and mocking faces just kept a'coming. I'm pretty sure sarcasm is my way of coping with uncomfortable situations. I just couldn't help it, although I did my very very best to not show it, cause I'm a good friend that way. I did amuse myself at least, and prevent death from boredom. If the boredom didn't get me though, my plan B was a quiche overdose. It wouldn't have been pretty, but let me tell you, those little mini quiches were stuffed with pure awesome. I would've died happy. Mostly. I'd have preferred jeans to the pants suit. But I guess the bridal shower attire would've made a funeral director's job easy. Just pop me in a box and call it day. And stuff an extra quiche in my mouth out of pity.

Oh, and I get to go get my bridesmaid's dress altered soon. I really can't wait *sarcasm*. Somehow my friend has managed to get bridesmaid's that, if you added all their dress sizes together, it still wouldn't be in the double digits. And then there's me. Now, I'm neither fat nor tall, but I feel like a gargantuan yeti next to some of these girls. Some of them can't be over 4'11, 90lbs, and a size 0. It's like standing next to four 8 year olds. Give me a break. In the pictures its going to look like I had one them for lunch.

And to top all that off, I have to come up with a toast speech. After reading this post (if you've actually read this far) how do you think that's going to go? Whatever happens, I'm sure it will be...interesting. Let's hope she doesn't kill me before she trots off on her honeymoon.