10 months ago
Ten years is a long time, isn't it? Goddamn. So long.
Today is my 25th birthday. Which, obviously, means that ten years ago was my 15th birthday. On that day I went to GameStop with my mom and picked up two things. The first was Tony Hawk Underground 2 for the original Xbox. The second was Red vs Blue season one on DVD.
So much has changed in those past ten years, obviously. I'd say the 10 years between 15 and 20 are the most tumultuous of your life. I didn't know anyone that I hang out with now. I wasn't interested in most things that I hold dear now. I never could've predicted that this would be where I'd find myself in ten years.
But throughout that whole ten years there has remained one constant: Red vs Blue. Every year there were the new episodes. I'll never forget sitting on my dial up internet watching the slowest progress bar ever tick down the download for the first episode of season 3. Or kicking everyone out of my summer college dorm room to watch episode 100 (Thankfully I'd clicked on the link with the canonical ending).
In those years I've had the best times of my life and I've had the worst. I've met my best friends and I've met people I never hope to see again. Love. Heartbreak. Elation. Depression. It was the best of times it was the worst of ti-oh no wait that's not right.
I'm not often one for introspection but this milestone has made me take a look back.
So thanks, everybody. I'm not around now as often as I once was. Adult life, you know? Rooster Teeth still has one of the best communities on the web. It warms my heart to see it grow so much. I work at GameStop and at least once a day someone comes in with a RT or Achievement Hunter shirt on and I compliment them on it and we chat about it.
I don't quite know exactly where this journal is headed anymore, so I figure I'll quit while I'm ahead. You'll probably get one similar in February when my profile hits 10 years.
Here's to another decade,
Obligatory birthday baby picture:
1 year ago
The internet as a whole is pretty awful, huh?
I'm sure everyone's heard about what has cringingly been dubbed as "The Fappening." Some husk of skin hacked into god knows what and has decided to dump hundreds upon hundreds of private photos of young female celebrities.
I understand how stuff like this is exciting. Who doesn't like stumbling across something you weren't supposed to see? But, man, it just makes me feel icky. I've seen people all over twitter praising whoever did this like they're some goddamn saint. It's fucked up. Those were private photos not meant to be seen by anyone except the people they were intended for. But people can justify gobbling these pictures up because....."Well I wanted to see them." What people do with their bodies and their cameras and their phones is no one's business but their own. And that stuff being spread around the internet for any horny teenager to see isn't cool.
What's even worse than that is all of the victim blaming that I've seen going on. "Well if they didn't want those pictures shown they shouldn't have taken them." Fuck off. That's a few steps away from "Well what else did she expect to happen going out dressed like that?" (No, I'm not trying to trivialize sexual assault, and I understand these two sentiments, while similar, have varying degrees of intensity.) If people wanna do that shit they should be able to without fear of some horny dipshit on 4chan drooling all over them cause "We are teh legion lulz." Ugh.
Let's all just try and remember:
1 year ago
Everyone has had one of those nuclear bomb, superfly TNT, mushroom cloud layin motherfucker, motherfucker break ups, right? Those break ups that just leave you in shambles. Crushed. Hurt. Damaged. Unable to cope, much less move on for quite some time.
We can all agree that those suck, right? Like, there's no solace to be found there. It's gonna be a while before you're ready to get going again
But, I can't help but wonder, is a break up being better than that actually worse?
They're much less common, but you do find break ups that are just done from necessity. There's no wailing and gnashing of teeth. Both parties agree it's run its course and that's that. That seems like a dream, right? Especially for people who have only encountered horrible break ups, something like this sounds like heaven.
As shitty as those rough splits can be, at least you take something away from them. Relationships with that horrible shitty aspect to them. Crazy. Evil. Manipulative. Ending crushed, vowing never to do it again like Scarlett O'Hara, knowing that you'd fall right back into the routine when the next one came long. You learn. You grow. You come out of those a different person, usually for the better. You've learned what to look and what not to look for in a partner. You've learned more about yourself, as well. What you can do better. What you did wrong.
I recently had one of the aforementioned necessary break ups. I call it the Old Yeller break up. We just took it out back and shot it because it was what needed to be done. And, lemme tell you, I wish I had something to show for it. That whole relationship sorta felt like a holding pattern. I was just marking time for the 9 or so months that it existed. I didn't grow, I didn't really learn anything. Right now I feel the same as I did before we got together, for the most part.
It doesn't feel worth it. Because even if the relationship didn't end terribly, there's still plenty of those post break up shitty feelings. The loneliness. The emptiness. And I'm dealing with all of that for seemingly nothing.
I'd always thought that a relationship ending had to be a catastrophic event, because all of my relationships ended catastrophically. Now that I've seen how the other half lives, I understand why those are needed. I understand the value in them. I've never really thought of the positives of a break up outside of getting away from whatever toxic person you'd been shackled to. I had my first real grown-up relationship. And it ended in a very grown-up way. And like a lot of grown of things you wish for when you're younger and more naive, it's not all it was cut out to be.
3 years ago
I've been a bit scarce lately, and I apologize for that. I've been quite busy, shit going on and all that.
But, I managed to start a podcast with friends. Here is where you can download it. In it we watched one great movie and one shit movie and discussed them, then we talked about our TV show recommendations.
It's our first thing so it's a bit rusty, but I think it's got some potential. I'll keep posting the new episodes on here. I hope you guys like it. Share with your friends if you'd like.
Thanks very much.
3 years ago
Wow. I didn't expect to be as moved by this as I was.
I remember watching the premiere of Season 3 the day it went up on my shitty dial-up internet. It took forever but man it was worth it.
I remember getting season one on DVD my freshman year in high school. I'm 22 now.
I remember using my mom's computer after school (she was a 3rd grade teacher) to watch RvB season 4, but I had to always have the volume turned way down since, you know, elementary schools and cussing don't work together.
I remember being in a dorm room summer 2007, before my senior year in high school, at a summer program at my current university for high school students and kicking everyone out, various people chatting and playing guitar hero, because episode 100 had just gone up and watching it.
I remember sitting at the front desk of my dorm room, working, one night and my jaw almost hitting the floor when I found out Church was the alpha.
I remember sitting at a friend's when the finale of Revelation went up, almost crying at the end of it, at how great it was.
I remember laughing my ass off at Immersion.
I remember watching RT Shorts and thinking "Hey, if these guys can do it maybe I can be a filmmaker, too."
I remember being blown away at the amazing writing in RvB and it fueling my drive to write more.
I remember all the wonderful friends I've made on RT's site.
I remember visiting RT last year and almost passing out from how awesome it was.
I remember all the videos. The podcasts. The journals. The forum threads.
One thing I can barely remember is my life before Rooster Teeth. And one thing I'm so incredibly happy I'll never have to remember is a life without them.
I remember Rooster Teeth being with me through great times. I remember Rooster Teeth being there for me through bad.
I remember it all, Rooster Teeth, and, well, I wanna say thanks to you.
Thanks for all the incredible things you guys have done over the years. I can say, without any sense of hyperbole or exaggeration, that I would not be the person I am today without Rooster Teeth.
And for that the very least I can do is say
Greetings! I'm Adam. I used to accept random requests. Not anymore. Interest me and I'll add you.
I have strong opinions. I'm a writer. I love movies. I love music. I'm a huge gamer, I have been for years. If you wanna learn more just ask. I'm always up for making new friends and won't ignore anyone that isn't a total fucktard.
Have a wonderful day.
^ All hail Grohl