ManusNigrum

Male
from Houston, TX

    • ManusNigrum

      Most recent update

      4 years ago

      So its been a rough summer so far. At the end of the semester I was sitting at a stop light and a woman who wasn't watching where she was going ran into me, totaled my car and then told her insurance company that I ran a red light so they're refusing to pay. I have to take her to court now. I wrote a demand letter, which is the first step of the legal process and I have to send it registered mail this afternoon. Then I have to get a court date and file a subpoena for the police officer who arrived at the scene of the accident.

      My Mom had been having problems breathing and chest pains so she ended up having to have open heart surgery. She got out, was beginning to recuperate but is unfortunately back in the hospital again, I'm scraping along barely existing at this point, its hard enough trying to handle all this crap of just being financially insolvent with no car but tack on the added responsibilities of dealing with my Moms crap and it gets really challenging. A lot of my time has actually been spent at the hospital visiting with my Mom, just trying to make sure she keeps her spirit up, or actually at her house cleaning it and trying to get it ready for her to come home to. She's a hoarder and has saved so much crap you can barely get around in her house if you're in good condition, for the condition she is in its practically paralytic. Courtney, my old roommate turned me on to this TV show called Hoarders and watching it has really helped me understand the behavior a lot more. I also began to understand a lot of those same impulses in myself as well. My brother Daniel and I have been going to her house about twice a week for the last month and we've almost got her bedroom emptied out. She has a fairly large house and unfortunately there are other rooms in the house more packed then her bedroom is. I took some pictures of it when we first started cleaning in case she tries to have us arrested or something we can show the images to the authorities if she attempts to have us arrested or anything. The TV show depicts people that are far worse then she is in my opinion, you don't have to literally climb over stuff to get around in the house for example but it is dirty and filthy and horribly cramped for a house that size.

      Every once in a while I have an opportunity to make a little bit of cash but for the most part not having a vehicle really makes things difficult in a city the size of Houston. We do have a public transportation system but its barely adequate to get anywhere and whoafully inadequate for getting anywhere on time, unless you leave three hours before your intended arrival time of course. Unfortunately I burned out my flash at one point and had to replace it, that was $400 I wasn't prepared to spend on equipment. I need a new camera and my next one really needs to be a full frame dslr and unfortunately the cheapest full frame that Nikon makes is almost $3,000. I have been shorted on payment by two different clients for a total of about $400 and I still owe my old room mates $2000 in back rent, I have every intention of paying them back but I really get the idea that my clients don't have the same good intentions I do. I did learn a valuable lesson though, don't release the images from a shoot until after you've been paid. Because I made the mistake of trying to start my own business I am no longer qualified for unemployment, not because you can't collect it if you do but because the clients that screwed me out of payment didn't give me an address. This goes back to February btw.

      On the bright side I've been doing driving for a mechanics shop named Kacel's (Kah-Cell's) and that's put a little bit of money into my hands and basically allowed me to keep from having to go to go to a sell blood plasma for money. I've already sold off a lot of my stuff, but I've still got more stuff I can get rid of, its just a matter of getting to it in order to do so. Its in a storage warehouse on the other side of town my Mom has.

      In other positive revelations, I've begun to develop a bit of a following in order to get photo/design clients. Its not huge and doesn't provide anything in comparison to a livable income at the moment but I'm on my way to building an actual client base and going to school for photography has taught me things about it that I didn't even consider before.

      All in all I can say that the adversity I've dealt with over the course of the last year has chiseled things out of me I didn't really expect to be there. In another years time I hope to be in a much better position then I am in currently.

      Wish me luck smiley11.gif

    • ManusNigrum

      Soooooooooooo......

      4 years ago

      Its about time for another update.

      Well this semester I find myself starving, not literally but pretty damn close. I have made the horrendous mistake of taking five classes this semester but Ive been holding it down pretty well. Ive been having a lot of stress headaches but that goes with the territory I suppose. I pretty much don't have anytime for anything other then school and work. I know that sounds like it sucks but fortunately my work often involves going to Raves, they don't pay very well and I can't drink while Im at them because Im not there to party Im there to work, but I am still in a position that results in lots of attention from highly attractive, barely clothed women who happen to be quite athletic.

      Its funny, I spent most of my early 20's in bars and pool halls, most often I was at a Slick Willies over by where I lived at the time, I didnt really go because I liked being there, I went because that's where most of my friends hung out at. They were mostly people that I went to high school with but the bars were usually pretty busy and we were almost never there alone. I met a lot of people back then, not very many I would really want to consider keeping in contact with for long periods of time certainly. Most of the guys there in the pool halls were alcoholics and most of the girls I remember meeting were barely functional retards.

      Lol, Im listening to Pandora right now and the March of the Empire just came on.

      Anyway, back to what I was talking about... Your friends have a lot to do with your outlook on the world around you and when I started talking about going to these events I remember getting a lot of funny looks and snide comments about hanging out with losers and drug addicts. These, for the most part, were coming from people that I hung out in the bars and pool halls with. I'll admit, I was more then a little judgmental myself, I was walking into a situation I had previously had poor experience with in high school and was really expcting a lot of similar problems to pop up but this time my experience was completely different. Most notably Ive found myself a means of learning about light that is more challenging then anything I could have ever expected. I have found myself an audience that is quite appreciative of what I do and appreciative enough to put money down on the table for it. Not a lot granted, but enough to keep me from having to barrow more money every month to stay afloat. Well sorta. Im still couch hopping at the moment unfortunately but Im getting closer to being able to get back on my feet. By the end of the semester I should be back in full swing and whats best, not having to have to face doing IT ever again.

    • ManusNigrum

      So I've finshed the semester...

      4 years ago

      ... and its certainly been a ride. I've been couch hopping for most of the semester slept in my car a couple of times. The job I thought I had ended up falling through a couple of days later because I had been kicked out of where I was living about two weeks before my FAFSA funds came through but I found a different job, that is way cooler and more useful, but it doesn't start until January. Im not gonna say to much about it but it involves Lego Robots. My FAFSA funds did finally come through but its funny, you can have $3,000 in an account, be able to sign a lease and put down a 5 month advance payment and they still won't let you stay there without a job. At this point the money is gone, mostly spent on fixing my car so I suppose thats a mixed blessing. If I had put the money down to get an apartment I wouldn't have been able to fix my car.

      That being said I've learned more about photography in the last three months then I had in the last year before that. I shot my first fashion show this past weekend. The images were all crap for the most part but I was able to network there which was really cool. Shooting raves and concerts doesn't give much opportunity to actually talk to the other shooters because #1 its loud and #2 you really can't stop to socialize because the action around you doesn't stop, you just aim, shoot, aim, shoot, repeat ad naseum.

      My friend Luke just got made a Sup at his job and he offered me a job there and as tempting as that proposition is I am very likely to turn it down because the other job offer, the Lego Robot thing, is an operation run by two retired photographers. I don't know how much they know about digital but even if they don't know anything about it, at least one of them used to be a staff photographer for Cononco and Im sure that he has lots of stories. Besides, I really don't wanna go back into doing IT, at least not until I am finished with a couple of more semesters and can start doing web design and photography on my own. Originally I was planning on majoring in photography but because of my own interest in memetics I'm thinking that advertising would probably be a better fit.

      So thats my status update for the month.

    • ManusNigrum

      So most of my furntiure is moved...

      4 years ago

      ...but the power steering pump in my car went out on Friday. My brother, came over yesterday to help me work on it and today he came back and brought my cousin and jbskycro came over to fix it, or tell me what to do so I can fix it, either way it gets the problem taken care of. I still have a lot of crap to either move or get rid of, moving is good because it helps you see what you have that you dpn't really need. I'll be staying with my friend Jennifer for a short period of time. Shes pretty cool and her son is like three and a half feet of awesome but this is most defiantly a short term solution. She lives around the corner from where I am living currently and that doesn't get me any closer to school or to where I need to be to find stable employment. Next weekend I am going to set my campsite up at Renfair and the weekend after that it actually starts so I well have a weekend job but the pay is crap and its temporary, part time seasonal work. But it also means being at Renfair which is a like an adult summer camp accept its in the fall. I'm really behind on my school work because Ive been focusing on editing some final shots and getting my stuff [packed or disposed of.

      This is going to be good.

    • ManusNigrum

      Take the bad with the good

      4 years ago

      So at this point in my life I am on about to be couch hopping for the next few weeks until my financial aid kicks in. I lost my job back in December, a job I had for almost five years and wasn't able to find another one until February and ended up getting canned from that one as well. It was a bill collector company and I hated it. I was one of the veterans there by the time I got fired and I had only been there for four and a half months. I started looking for work again and was getting kinda panicky about my prospects after walking into the umteenth job interview and seeing ten people waiting to be interviewed for the same job so I decided to go back to school. Financial aid was the only means I could guarantee being able to come up with the money to cover my back rent and pay my room mate up for the rest of the year. I work at the Texas Renascence Festival every year and that's a seasonal part time job but money is money. When I told my room mate that I didn't feel I had any choice but to go to school he asked what I would be doing for money and I told him, "Financial Aid" he said that my rent would be going up by 25% in October. Two weeks later he said that he was kicking me out. When I told him that I was going to be moving my furniture out a little bit early he said that he would let me stay until the middle of fair season if I gave them my coffee table. Being as that would make moving and going to school and keeping the only job I had nearly impossible I kinda felt that was rather mean, so I politely declined, said that I didn't think that would be a good idea and left it at that. The money that was supposed to go to pay them back for my back rent is now going to have to go to get an apartment. Unfortuantly it means that Im going to be paying them back $50 a month for the next three years or so. Im gonna have to be mailing checks because they live outside of Houston by about 15 miles. Basically where I've been living is 20 miles away from anywhere you could possibly want to go. Its not the quiet countryside either. Its suburbia hell.

      That's the bad stuff.

      The good stuff is that I feel like I am finally doing something positive with my life. I am back in school and working on my photography fairly constantly. For the first time in the better part of ten years I have an actual goal and its something that I can do beyond just gaming and goofing off. Ironically I party a lot more now then I did when I had no direction in my life and I am seeing people I have known for years in a completely different light. I am beginning to see people in terms of what they are doing instead of what they have. Instead of seeing in terms of material successes Im seeing people in terms of mental state and attitude. I''ve begun to recognize traits of frustration and helplessness that I've never seen before. I have begun to see those flaws in myself and seeing them has helped to begin working to alleviate them.

    • ManusNigrum

      A text from last night....

      5 years ago

      Alice

      r u out?

      Me
      Nope

      Alice
      K Just seeing

      Alice
      Hows it going?

      Me
      Honestly I'm nervous about the next three weeks.

      Alice
      Why, is it 2012 yet?

      Me
      2012. The end of the Mayan calender. Some say the end of the world. Some eagerly awaiting the election of Sarah Palin. Are they funny coincidental occurrences or the truth about the terrifying prophecy about the power of cause and effect?

    • ManusNigrum

      So its been another few months...

      5 years ago

      And I've been fired again. This time it was because I was working as a bill collector and didnt make quota. I had some serious reservations about that job, I wasn't very good at it because it constantly grated on my conscience. However I have decided to go back to school. I live out in the middle of suburbia hell and its a million miles away from school, from everything I shoot and from the vast majority of my friends.

      What am I going back to school for you ask? Why photo of course!

      I included a link to my photos in facebook if you'
      re interested in seeing any of my current work. Its been a long time since I seriously studied photo techniques and I'm going to have to take a bunch of film stuff in order to qualify for the more advanced digital classes but its ben a while since I shot film anyway, I'm looking forward to seeing what I can pull of now.

    • ManusNigrum

      So its been a few months...

      5 years ago

      And if you read my last update about my new horrible boss, well she fired me for being unprofessional. Apparently it is unprofessional to tell someone in another department that what they are doing is illegal and can get the company sued. Supposedly I threatened her. Yeah, the only things I ever threaten are contained in the glass case of the bakery section of the grocery store and I never follow through with tyhat, you know, on account of the Die-beat-us

      Other then that life has been pretty decent. I mean other then the no income thing I mean. Ive still been going out and shooting a lot, my work is up on Facebook at the moment. I got a new camera as well. I went from a Canon A470 point and shoot to a Nikon D60 DSLR. I love this camera. I need to get a new lens for it, the little 18-55mm kit lens it came with doesn't really cut it because the f-stop range only goes down to 3.5 and I need something that opens up a bit more then that. I was good for a starter lens but I need to push it farther then what its capable of.

      Anyway, I'll probably be updating a bit more in the future but I wanted to stop in and say hi to everyone today.

    • ManusNigrum

      The illusion of safety

      6 years ago

      So I've been a busy little bee recently, getting into photography again, went through four phones in a month, moved at the beginning of the summer and through all of this I've been constantly feeling like something is missing. Then I look around, realize I left my keys or wallet in my other pants and continue on my way before the feeling returns.

      Going out and shooting every weekend has helped that, and the feeling mostly retunrs when I'm sitting at the office at a job I hate but work because its stable.

      But then its not.

      I got a new boss recently who after working very hard to put together a presentation for upper management about what it is that our department does, drug me into a meeting with HR to tell me that I was being written up and given a first and final warning. This is after being my boss for less then a week.



    • ManusNigrum

      Blahbity, blah, blah, blah...

      6 years ago

      I feel like writing today. Don't really know about what or even why. I'm not feeling particularly inspired at the moment but there is something that needs to be said.

      Unfortunatly I don't know what that something is. All day today I've been sitting trying to figure out what the next step is. Step to what?

      I've been walking around today in a fugue. I think it has something to do with the lack of caffine I've been subjecting myself to. Its easy to forget that caffine is a drug when you are hopped up on tweenty cups of coffe a day.

      I discovered that the headaches go away after two days of reduced intake. I havn't any any coffee at all today, didn't stop at Starbucks, stayed away from the coffee machine in the breakroom and only had two cokes.


      I have however discovereda beutiful Paul Van Dyk collaboration with another German musician named Peter Heppner. Its beautiful. This is not the typical of what I would expect from Paul Van Dyk, it's slow and melodic. This is the same guy that took Adagio for Strings and turned it into fast past dance music. The name of the song is Wir Sind Wir which translates literally to We Are We, not understanding what the title meant I googled and and found the lyrics. It took about three seconds to realize what the song was about.

      Its about a people living in a divided nation. A nation with much to be proud of, more so then a lot of nations but one whos past is overshadowed bya brutal past and the self incriminating nature of a people struggling to come to grips with itslef.

      This version is the live version. Of the two I perfer the music quality form this one.

      www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ugm5l4E-xus&feature=PlayList&p=DF84C30427ABD84A&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=40

      This is the music video. It depicts events from Germanys history, some of which I don't fully understand.

      www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_hmswsKSrM

      That is all...

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  • Comments (118)

    • pt606

      pt606

      4 years ago

      I'll be honest - I have no clue why it's called a Tiger cruise and why civilians aboard a ship during a Tiger cruise are called Tigers.

      Haha, was that unhelpful? Good.

    • ManusNigrum

      ManusNigrum

      5 years ago

      yep, just havn't been checking in here recently. I don't work at my old company anymore so I am not online constantly.

    • teamcoltra

      teamcoltra

      5 years ago

      Still alive?

    • swooper74

      swooper74

      6 years ago

      That's the job, it's essentially a citizen's arrest, we release them to police for processing with our report of the incident, then the cops decide whether to lay charges or not. Being 19, the dude missed out on his Get Out Of Jail Free card by two years, and the results are going to haunt him for a long damn time.

    • Solid_Syam
    • Madison

      Madison

      6 years ago

      Awesome points.

    • swooper74

      swooper74

      6 years ago

      I'm actually the guy who used to be a pastor way back when, as a matter of fact

    • Draegone

      Draegone

      6 years ago

      Wow, you're one of the few people I actually remember well on here so I'm just dropping in to say hi.

    • teamcoltra

      teamcoltra

      6 years ago

      lol it took me a second to realise what I said... so no worries...

      lol I was looking at your mod point break down... and you don't give out mod points...you only recieve them.

    • teamcoltra

      teamcoltra

      6 years ago

      MOD POINT HOG! You don't give mod points according to your mod point break down... you just like to get them... sadness